Why was I speeding, officer? Because I am late for my psychotherapy appointment.

Why am I late for my psychotherapy appointment? Because I spent too long in the shower trying to psych (haha) myself to actually go to the appointment.

Why was I in the shower in the middle of the afternoon? Because I got up too late to take a shower this morning and I had to rush to get my daughter to school on time.

Why did I get up too late? Because my baby was up crying and I wanted to help his nurse soothe him.

Why does my baby have a nurse? Because he has a tracheostomy.

Why does he have a trach? Because his airway is too small for him to breathe.

Why am I making that weird air-sucking noise? Because you have just triggered the PTSD for which I was going to the psychotherapy appointment that I was late for because of spending too long in the shower trying to psych (haha) myself up to actually go to. The shower I was taking because I got up too late to take one in the morning, because I was up with my baby and his nurse.

Also, my registration is expired by two months. I have a good excuse for that, too, if you're interested.

You're not?

Just a warning this time?

Thanks, officer.

You have a nice day, too.