Not a step back

so much drippy snot
need a dollar for each sneeze
for Christmas presents

Ike-a-saurus has a cold. Technically, he's had had a cold for about a FREAKING MONTH. Longer, maybe. No one else has a cold, though, so this is one lingering sonofabitch. Possibly allergies, but I have to think it's just a viral blech monster that won't go away.

He's been coughing at night, and in the mornings he coughs so hard that he pukes. Yesterday, he puked directly, projectile-y, all over my iphone. So if you call me and I don't answer it's probably because I didn't hear my phone ring due to the fact that the speakers are clogged with regurgitated Boost Kids Essential 1.5. Nice.

In order to combat the coughing and puking, we pulled out ye olde sleeping wedge. Since the trach came out, the wedge has been stuffed in a closet while we try to get Ike used to sleeping in a toddler bed. (Went great the first few days – then he learned he could climb into bed with us. I love the snuggles, but am less fond of being kicked in the face all night.)

When we got the wedge out and set it in his bed, you should have seen his face. It was like he saw an old friend. His eyes lit up, a smile spread across his face and he squealed with delight. He ran right up to it and got the sling part all situated, then he leaned into it and tried to get himself all slung up.

All of this really made me stop and think. This whole time we've been home without the trach, celebrating our new freedom, putting away equipment and I've been so relieved, so thrilled, that I just assumed everyone else felt that way, too. But, of course, Ike wouldn't feel exactly this way. How could I not realize that?

Everything familiar to him – his bed, his machines, his nurses – are suddenly gone. He's adapted well. Really well. So I didn't really think about how much he must miss all of it. I mean, I know he misses he nurses because when we see them here and there he's very excited to say hello. But things like the sleeping wedge, I never really thought about.

So now that he has this cold, things have gone back to "normal" for him a little bit. How funny and weird and kind of sad is that? It makes perfect sense, because this is all he's known. And I feel kind of like a moron that this was a surprise to me. Of course he missed his bed. I would miss MY bed if someone tucked it away and bought me a strange new one.

Hopefully this cold will be over soon. He's been so good about letting me wipe his nose (it's the first time his nose has been this gunky ever! Usually, it all came out the trach. Gross, I know.) And the wedge has helped so much with the coughing.

When this viral bleh monster is over, though, maybe we'll keep the wedge for a bit longer. I think the two of them still have some catching up to do.

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2 thoughts on “Not a step back

  1. wow! crazy! but of course! but wow! that’s really interesting, and yet another window into how often we layer our kids interactions with the word with our own. can’t help it, it just is. but wow. that’s super cool in a sweetly sad and funny kinda way.

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  2. 🙂 the same happened to us. emily was kinda shocked when the trach was suddenly gone – she never minded it in the 1st place cos it was what she knew and never portrayed it as anything negative. and obviously they have to go through quite a lot of trauma getting it out. understandable that it’s all a bit confusing for them.

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