Ow. My face.

suck it, juniper
we could set you all on fire
breathe better in smoke

If you live in Austin, you know about Cedar Fever. Those stupid juniper trees EXPLODE IN THE SKY this time every year, causing all denizens of ATX to have their sinuses implode, repeatedly, over consecutive weeks.

It never used to bother me. I was in, like, the 1% of people who were all, "la la la, cedar whatnow?" But this year, MAN. I can feel an area on the left side of my head, where my sinuses have expanded to reach up into my brain, only so they can collapse in on themselves. I've woken up the past three days in a row gagging. Nice.

I can't figure out who I hate more today, the cedar trees, or Rick Perry. If only the cedar trees had a $9.4 billion rainy day fund they could tap into to save decimated school districts. Maybe then we could be friends.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Ow. My face.

  1. I think we can find a way to blame this savage cedar season on Perry. Maybe the Gulf oil spill too. Definitely the funding shortfalls. All we need is a flowchart and some bourbon.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s