Barney Sings the Rapture

In anticipaton of the coming Rapture, it feels like there should be a Barney episode preparing kids for what's to come. Here are some sample lyrics from the script I'm working on:


Here comes a police car
The people shout hooray!
Until it runs them over
Because the policeman wasn't Saved.


I can be anything when I grow up!
Trash sorter, horde leader, lady of the night!
I'll always do the best I can
as one of the last people alive!


If I want to be a firefighter
I’ll be a cute sacrificial lamb
And put out the fiery fire fires
In the hearts of the damned!


I'm no zombie, no I'm not!
I'm just a soul
that God forgot!


(lyrics from the inevitable rap song)

Playing in the street is A-OK
because the streets are so emp-tay!


Look both ways when you cross the street!
Here's the reason why:
A  dude looking for someone to eat
might be walking by.


People helping other people
is what this world's about
unless the Rapture is upon us
then you better fucking watch out


I love you
You love me
We're as happy as can – OH SHIT, IS THAT A FIRESTORM?!

One thought on “Barney Sings the Rapture

  1. I love this almost as much as I hate Barney.
    He is the anti-christ you know, and I don’t even believe in that stuff……
    I haven’t been by for so long, but you still make me smile.


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