OK, so

I just thought that for all you schadenfreude types out there I should come clean about part of the vacation we just had. Specifically, the part where the wee-er one had to lay her face in my lap in the "sterile" room at urgent care while the doc drained and packed an infected bug bite. (side note: BARF)

An infected bite, I might add, on the wee-er one's butt cheek. (Of course)

And then there was the part with the antibiotics and the incidental pooping troubles and the Very Important Rules to stay out of both the sun and the water (not awesome rules for when you're in Florida).

HOWEVER, the wee-er one was very stoic about the whole thing and since she was never 100% keen on the ocean anyway, she was more than happy to be pampered and fawned over up in the condo while the grown-ups took turns romping in the sand and seaweed.

As suggested by a friend on Facebook, I think my next book might be of the coffee table variety: pages of large, glossy pictures under the title Urgent Care Centers of the Deep South.

Anyway, it was still a beautiful, wonderful, lovely, awesome, inspiring, long-awaited, gorgeous, fun vacation but I thought – just to keep it real, you know – y'all would enjoy knowing that it wasn't perfect.

It was close, though. And now we have yet another (one day) hilarious butt story to add to the family collection.

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Vacation!

Ike flew through his procedure in Cincinnati like a man on a mission. Once Doctor Fancypants said everything looked great and Ike-a-saurus doesn't have to come back for a whole year (!), we all took a huge deep breath of relief. Or at least I did. And even though the doc saw a bit of narrowing in Ike's airway, he said it was nothing to worry about and his airway is "essentially a normal size for his age".

So we are not worrying.

Instead, we are spending a week at the beach!

It is so lovely, there are no words.

Truly.

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It’s that time again – Cincinnati here we (they) come!

tiny little boy
holding onto Daddy's hand
walks through the glass doors

Has it been 6 months already? Man. Ike's 6-month follow-up (from the three month follow-up after the 6-week follow-up) in Cincinnati is tomorrow.

Because of a glitch in the plane ticket proceedings, I'm not going on the trip this time. Ike-a-saurus and his daddy are having an adventure by themselves. (Do not even get me started on Medicaid and the drama that got us to this point. I will say that I understand why they will only pay for one adult ticket now that Ike has no trach, BUT I do not understand why they had to tell us this two days before the flight, after having booked three tickets, only to cancel one ticket. If they had told us sooner, I could have bought a ticket on my own. But no, 48 hours notice does not an affordable plane ticket make. Did I get started on this? I did. Sorry.)

Ike's scope is scheduled for 9 am tomorrow. Dr. FancyPants will take a look around, make sure the graft has healed and is not failing, check for any scar tissue, looks for areas of collapse, and then after a (hopefully!) brief bit of time in recovery, Ike and Daddy will be back at the hotel packing up to come home on Friday.

Just because I know how fascinating it is to read about other people's neuroses (and because I have no one in my kitchen to talk to) I'm going to tell you what I'm worried about:

1. They miss their flight and miss the scope

2. They get to the hospital, but the procedure is canceled because Ike still has the grody sounding cough he can't shake

3. The scope is on time, but the doctor finds scar tissue/collapse/failure/enlarged tonsils/whatever and it has to be repaired, causing an overnight (or longer) stay in the hospital

4. Everything goes fine but Ike is traumatized by going into and/or coming out of anesthesia without his mama being there to soothe him

5. A million billion other things

Million billion.

To keep myself distracted, I am going to get my haircut and eat my weight in banana cake (with maple frosting) from Thai Fresh. I'll be holding the fork with all my fingers crossed, so it's probably lucky no one is here to see me do that.

Also, I would like to lay on the floor and snap my fingers so that a cheeseburger magically appears. But it's hard to snap your fingers when they're crossed so I better get in the car and go on a cheeseburger hunt.

It's very quiet in here.