The summer comes to a close with lava stairs and a fake hammerhead shark

days of flame and fire
burning desire for silence
sadness melts away

Summer is almost over. Not ACTUAL summer, but summer "vacation". You have to use the quotes when you're at the end of it, because no part of any of the last few weeks has felt like a vacation at all. It has felt like being baked alive inside an oven masquerading as a house, filled with little screaming explosive potatoes masquerading as children.

This morning, we gave a final wave to vacation as we hauled giant Target bags full of supplies up to school to meet the teachers and scope out the classrooms. The wee one met his teachers and was delighted to discover his seat is right next to the life-size fiberglass/not-actually-real-but-with-actual-real-teeth hammerhead shark. It will loom over his shoulder all year, watching him learn all things 4th grade. I bet it will make testing especially fun.

The wee-er one is extremely apprehensive about "this kindergarten thing". But once she noticed TWO friends from play school are in her class AND her teacher plays the guitar AND there's a reading loft AND there's a play kitchen with a plastic pizza in the freezer she was a little more excited about the prospect.

Ike-a-saurus keeps telling everyone that he's "nervous about mine new class" even though I keep reminding him he doesn't have a class yet. Maybe next year. I think he just likes to be nervous along with his big sister.

Speaking of – HOW IS SHE OLD ENOUGH FOR KINDERGARTEN ALREADY?

OMG.

It's lucky I had the cooler springtime to be all verklempt about this, because I am too hot and tired of listening to fighting siblings to be torn up about school starting on Monday. To be conpletely, brtually honest, once the kids are dropped off at school next week, I want to go get a bloody mary and put my feet up on the table and sing a new song I just made up called, "It's about fucking time."

(Except I can't do or say that because Mr. Ike will be here with me, and I don't need him accosting people with the f-word just yet.)

Hopefully, by Monday I will have remembered myself and will be sniffling along with all of the other Kinder-kid parents. Or maybe not. This Monday may go down in history as Remember The Time The Crazy Lady Brought In Illegal Fireworks To Celebrate Her Kids Going Back To School Day.

So we're spending the weekend finishing out the summer in grand style. Namely, staying up as late as possible so that waking up on Monday will be even worse than imaginable, and playing dangerous games like "Lava Stairs" and "Wall Climbers Yeah Yeah Yeah" which will guarantee someone starts school with a cast and/or head wound.

Have I mentioned that it's still 145 degrees outside and that we're on the fourth showing of the same Caillou episode right now?

MONDAY CANNOT COME SOON ENOUGH.

I don't really mean that.

Yes I do.

No, not really.

(Kind of, yes.)

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5 thoughts on “The summer comes to a close with lava stairs and a fake hammerhead shark

  1. Well, I certainly did a happy dance when I dropped the kids off this week at school, and then I celebrated with a massage & pedicure. Illegal fireworks don’t seem all that irrational to me!
    Is there a contingent of YEY SCHOOL STARTED parents going out for breakfast this year?

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  2. 1. My 5 yr old went to bed about 15 minutes ago. My 11 yr old is still awake. Technically, it’s tomorrow morning already.
    2. I’m looking for someone to go to “first day of kinder” post-drop off drinks/breakfast. Sounds like you’re in….
    3. “mine new class” is so freakin’ cute. Love that boy and his big ol’ smile.
    You. Are. Awesome. And I am so done with this heat. (Do you hear me up there!! *fistshaking* Even the AZ native is d.o.n.e.!!!)

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  3. A week or so ago myself and some fellow Two Point Oh! LA members got to go on a lovely jaunt to my local TJ Maxx. By local – I mean dangerously close – like 5 minutes walking distance. I’m fortunate enough to live near one of the newer stores complete with an excessively dangerous “Runway” section with lots and lots of high end designer bargains.

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  4. The young man filled out his form and sat down with the seven other applicants in the waiting area. After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed the room to the door of the inner office, and walked right in. Naturally the other applicants perked up, wondering what was going on. They muttered among themselves that they hadn’t heard any summons yet. They assumed that the young man who went into the office made a mistake and would be disqualified.

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