Permission to say AAARGH even if things are relatively fine

A thing I worry about a lot is this: feeling shitty about things that are, in the grand scheme of The Universe, not that shitty.

Like, I know what a bad day is now. Those Bad Fucking Days only come every now and then. If you're lucky, you never get one. Or maybe you only get a couple in your lifetime.

The problem is, once you know what a Bad Fucking Day is like, everything else is mild in comparison. Wreck your car? No sweat, comparatively. Hurt yourself? You'll heal. Burn dinner? Order pizza. Get two rejections in one day for a project you love? Perspective.

And yet, here and there, I still want to get mopey about little things. Not all the time, but sometimes. Sometimes, I just feel kind of shitty and I want to complain about feeling kind of shitty, but then I think, no way is this a Bad Fucking Day. No way is this even on the continuum of things worth being upset over.

So, I guess my question is: is there some way to give yourself permission to be whiny about mundane things?

Maybe I just need permission to feel a little blue every now and then. I'd like to take some deep sighs and not feel guilty.


See? Now I feel guilty.

7 thoughts on “Permission to say AAARGH even if things are relatively fine

  1. Go for it. Be as annoyingly miserable as you need to be today. Tomorrow take a shower, wash your hair and get back on that horsey – you’ll make it thru.


  2. A wise friend told me that when I say, “but compared to [my friend’s baby being sick or that time my son had an atomic seizure and we thought he was stroking out] this situation is nothing!” that I am just using other people’s/past situations as an excuse to avoid dealing with my own feelings now about this thing. It’s a convenient form of denial.
    So, I say, permission granted! It’s ok to care deeply about your hopes and your writing and to feel bad when you get a rejection!


  3. I am way late on this post, but I wanted to drop in my two cents.
    This topic is actually one of the things cop families run into, and can be a symptom of PTSD. The police officer in the family gets exposed to so many horrible, life altering things that the trials of home life become difficult to relate to. It can create a vast divide between the officer and their family. How can you compare the small struggles and frustrations of home with the worst of the worst?
    Being exposed to the Big Bads of the world can burn out your ability to handle little things. How can you care about the small frustrations when you know how bad it can be?
    The answer many families find is to separate your work life from your home life in you mind. There is the Big Bad of the work world, and the Little Bad of home. They are both important, and they both need your attention, and if you keep them separate you can do it.
    The Little Bads keep you grounded. They make the Little Successes glow. You can afford to cry over spilt milk, and celebrate over finishing the laundry. That sensitivity is what keeps you human and kind.
    Being frustrated by broken dishes, or messy pets, or running late, is one of the gifts of having a good life. It means that you have the safety, the peace of mind, to notice the non-life threatening. You are not currently in a state of threat. Sure you know the Big Bad is out there, but it’s not where you are right now. It doesn’t lessen the Bad things, it celebrates where you are now.
    In addition, if a person is in a permanent state of only getting emotionally involved in Big Bad situations, what is going to make them feel good? Where is their joy in daily life going to come from? You have to feel the small things, good or bad, to have a good life.
    That’s my 2 cents, I hope it helps.
    Take care!


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