N'oreastercanes and Random Penguins and Disney Wars. And that's just the stuff happening not immediately in this household. We have incomplete Halloween costumes, uncarved pumpkins, a choir concert in *looks at clock* two hours, the better half of a marriage who has only a handful of days left to cast that early ballot, exhausted other half of the marriage who spent all weekend shaking hands and hugging people and talking about books and asking questions about books (OK, that last one isn't a bad thing, just an exhausting thing), library conferences to prep for, classroom parties to prep for, food to cook, animals to feed, homework to cry over. SO MANY THINGS.
There are things I want to talk to you all about. Heathcare anecdotes and admonitions, the climate and it's fucked up shenanigans, how I want to lobby for a month of the year to be called Don't Be A Dick To Other People Month So That We Will Learn Important Lessons And Thus Won't Need A Month Dedicated To This Sort Of Thing Any More. I want to talk about the trouble with Good 'Ol Boys' Clubs and I want to make jokes about politicians who want to get rid of FEMA only to then chastise the federal government for not getting relief aid to communities faster.
So many things I want to talk about.
But that choir concert is now in *looks at clock* one hour and fifty minutes, and I am still wearing my Zombie University t-shirt and dirty jeans. The kid who is singing is said concert is not wearing his white shirt and black pants, but is instead in his underpants playing Minecraft. The other two children have disappeared.
Just know, my friends, I really want to be stirring you up right now, two weeks before the election, but I am going to need a lot more coffee than I have injested today to make that happen. Possibly also Hermione's timeturner.
It will happen. Yes. It will. (the blog posts, not the timeturner, alas)
Until then, I have a project for you. Let's think up all the future titles of the inevitable picture book Ann Romney will write.
Here's a couple to get you started:
The Very Hungry Caterpillar Needs to Get a Job
Don't Let the Mexican Drive the Bus!
Alexandar and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Dressage Horse
OK – your turn! Come up with some good ones. I expect a long list when I come home tonight after a hundred hours of elementary choir songs.